A recurring theme within the band’s discography is climate change. While some albums focus on the warming temperatures and melting ice in a more abstract, disconnected sense, such as Flying Microtonal Banana, others such as PetroDragonic Apocalypse and Infest the Rats’ Nest make blunt, brutal attacks in the form of full concept albums. Outside of the music, the band has been dedicated to doing their part, with compostable bags for their Gizzverse webstore, and a lack of shrinkwrap on their records. It’s impossible to ignore the band’s focus on our world and the biggest threat to it, but where did it come from? Well, if you trace the band’s history and go album by album, you’d find that it started only a few years after the band began, on the second side of I’m In Your Mind Fuzz with the dynamic psych-rock jam “Am I In Heaven?”
Debuting months before the album’s other environmental song “Hot Water,” this is the start of their devotion towards saving the planet.
Stu sings of how he has visions of the apocalypse, watching humanity tear Mother Nature to shreds for our own needs, putting her “to the test.” It’s a simple song from a songwriting perspective and was reflective of Stu’s vision of society at large: “With the latest record, a lot of the themes are about the modern world. The songs are about climate change and mind control and stuff like that. The modern world is inspiring.”
Humanity's selfishness in the face of catastrophe has to make you ask “am I in Heaven or am I in Hell?”
The song has cemented itself as a classic over the years, appearing consistently since its debut.
The first reported appearance of “Am I In Heaven?” was on 2014-04-06 at the Barwon Club Hotel in Geelong, and became a common selection through 2014. While some Mind Fuzz tracks featured different lyrics early on, existing recordings of the song pre-studio recording showcase the song’s final lyrics. The song had no real placement in the sets, sometimes (based on our knowledge) appearing near “Head On/Pill,” other times being a mid-set jam session. The song was recorded by Wayne Gordon at Daptone Records in Brooklyn and mixed by Micahel Badger and Stu. “Am I In Heaven?” would be released as part of I’m In Your Mind Fuzz on Halloween Day, 2014. The song’s motifs reappear throughout the album. The chorus melody is played in both “I’m In Your Mind” and “I’m In Your Mind Fuzz,” while the main riff from the instrumental break can be heard at the end of “Slow Jam 1.”
Post-release, “Am I In Heaven?” would become a concert staple. It was played throughout 2015, typically appearing at the end of sets with a transition into “Pill” during the middle of the year. Around this time “Am I In Heaven?” was used as a jam vehicle, though this would end around September when the song would be placed wherever needed. While it was a staple tune for that time, it seemed to fall off of sets in 2016, sometimes being played as an encore, such as on 2016-02-18. The song would, however, appear multiple times in the documentary BOOTLEG HOLIDAY FROM HELL. The break didn’t last long as 2017 saw the track return, this time as a pretty reliable, tease-filled closer from March to June — though it did appear as an opener on 2017-10-07.
From 2017, versions of the track start to get even longer and based more on improv than before. For example a performance of the song on 2017-06-22 was sixteen minutes long and features a number of teases. Another break would occur in 2018 with the song only being noted at three shows in August, once again as a closer. However, while appearing less, it only seemed to grow larger: one instance on 2018-08-22 is a staggering twenty minutes in length with teases and dynamic builds.
While “Am I In Heaven?” was always a great tune live, something undoubtedly changed in these years, and 2019 was possibly the song’s best year. While only appearing ten times, these versions were high action jams that often served as closers and ranged from nine to sixteen minutes in length. The song was played once in 2020 as a closer on 2020-02-08, with only one appearance the following year on 2021-12-20 as part of “Jam Night” at the Princess Theatre in Brisbane.
As the band entered their jam era in 2022, “Am I In Heaven?” was a no-brainer. While some were in the nine to thirteen minute range, long jams were not off the table with 2022-05-21 having a nearly thirty-minute version blending elements of a number of songs both old and new.
The song remains one of the band’s longer jams helped greatly by the improvisational nature of their jam-band era.